Groucho Marx : 1890-1977

Born Julius Marx in 1890, Groucho made 26 movies in total, of which 15 were with his brothers Chico (Leonard) and Harpo (Adolph). Of these 15 movies only 14 were released, the first movie being a silent film which, it's believed, Groucho disliked so much he cut it up into guitar picks to prevent its release.

The Marx Brothers were one of the world's most famous comedy teams, with their own brand of zany comedy, mixed with quick-witted one-liners, usually delivered by Groucho. These one-liners have often been imitated, even by some of today's most famous comedians and you will also find them in some old Bugs Bunny cartoons.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

I would horsewhip you if I had a horse.

Don't point that beard at me, it might go off.

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

There's a man outside with a big black moustache. Tell him I've got one.